I AM THAT I AM

I talk about myself a lot. This doesn't mean I'm conceited or that I am trying to push my view of reality onto anyone else. It just means that the only life I have a right to judge is my own. It is also because I am hopeful that by sharing details of my life and what I have learned, I may be able to help someone else. I went through a lot of pain and darkness before I became a minister (servant). It wasn't until I turned my life over to God that things began to work out for me. I am so happy and excited about this unlimited wealth of peace and love that I couldn't possibly keep it to myself (Matt 10:27)!

Whether or not you choose to accept what I say is entirely your business. I tell my husband all the time, "You do you, cuz Imma cer'ainly do me!" In other words, your choices are yours to make, but I refuse to let anyone or anything stop me from fulfilling my purpose in this life (2 Tim 2:21). I started writing this post a few days ago, and a chance encounter with an old friend helped me decide where to go with it. A confirmation from a new friend sealed the deal.

I grew up thinking of myself as an orphan. I had my grandmother and her love, but there was not much she could teach me about the world. By the age of 13, I was a street urchin - running the streets of Baltimore and panhandling for change. I joined up with a group of similar misfits and frequented the various clubs that seemed tailor-made for us. We spent countless hours drinking, smoking and dancing to New Wave and House music to ease our teenage angst. House parties were held frequently, sometimes in vacant houses around the city. At one point, I even considered becoming a tagger (graffiti artist). I chose the name Anachronism because I felt as if I were living in the wrong time (Rom 11:25). Something did not feel right to me, but I could not put my finger on exactly what it was (Psa 82:5). It was a time of mixing styles, experimenting with new ideas and, above all else, not being fake (poseur).

I was definitely a leader and a trailblazer. If I saw something that was popular or expected, I did the exact opposite. I took a Korean boy to homecoming. (I believe he was the only Asian boy there and he drove a BMW, which he allowed me to drive.) I sat in the "black section" of the school cafeteria (Psa 19:4). I owned a t-shirt that said "I love my attitude problem" and a pin that said "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent." I was not scared of anything. You can probably guess that this type of thinking led me into quite a bit of trouble, but it is these experiences that first opened my eyes to reality. Many of my friends from back in the day are either dead or locked up. Looking back, I can see how God literally stepped in to save my life on more than one occasion (Psa 119:175)!

By the time I was 16, I graduated from the school of street smarts and began dating the boy who would eventually become my husband. He did not approve of my activities back then and he does not approve of my activities now, but he knows resistance to my will is futile. I am stubborn, head strong, independent, passionate and adventurous; I am incapable of changing the moral fabric of my being. I love my husband with all my heart, but I love God more (Luke 10:27). I exist and that is enough. I am thankful for each and every day I receive the gift of life and I continually stand in awe of my Creator. I am that I am because I am able to recognize His image in me. He put me in an environment where I am able to thrive and He brought people into my life who could show me the truth, the way, and the life (John 14:6). It is now my time to shine, because I have been pulled from the fire and I am brilliantly refined.

Until next post...

1 Ti 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.

RESOURCES:

Baltimore is an anglicized form of the Irish Baile an Tí Mhóir, meaning "Town of the Big House." It is not uncommon for locals to divide the city simply by East or West Baltimore, using Charles Street as a dividing line, and/or into North and South using Baltimore Street as a dividing line. Historically a working-class port town, Baltimore has sometimes been dubbed a "city of neighborhoods," with over 300 identified districts traditionally occupied by distinct ethnic groups. Much of Baltimore's black American culture has roots that long predate the 20th century "Great Migration" from the Deep South. Like Atlanta, Georgia and Washington, D.C., Baltimore has been home to a successful black middle class and professional community for centuries.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltimore

New Wave "retained the fresh vigor and irreverence of punk music, as well as a fascination with electronics, style, and art." Urban Contemporary radio stations were the first to play New Wave music. By this period the definition of New Wave music in the United States had changed from the less rebellious, more commercial version of punk that it had been described as a few years earlier.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Wave_music

Abstract: A very broad style of breaking which may include the incorporation of "threading" footwork, freestyle movement to hit beats, house dance, and "circus" styles.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B-girl

In house dancing there is an emphasis on the subtle rhythms and riffs of the music, and the footwork follows them closely. This is one of the main features that distinguishes house dancing from dancing that was done to disco before house emerged and current dancing that is done to techno as part of the rave culture.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_dance

Graffiti has since evolved into a pop culture existence often related to underground hip hop music and b-boying creating a lifestyle that remains hidden from the general public.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graffiti

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